On my marketing blog today, I commented about how this one company (SAP) is right in not retaliating for their competition’s cheeky ad campaigns. Sometimes in our marriages we have similar battles. One fires at the other, and the tendency is to fire back.

Like me today. I made some mistakes with our finances. My otherwise lovely spouse shared some words that actually hurt quite a bit. And, I did start to retaliate, but, thankfully, I opted to drop it for the time being. (That reminds me of a Snoop Dogg song. . .but I digress.)

Sometimes, it’s best just to not say anything. Let things die down until you can both talk calmly. If necessary, use the “I cannot talk about this right now” excuse.

It’s hard to have a productive conversation when one or both of us are angry or hurt. Sometimes we have to let those feelings relax a bit. (I’m not saying to avoid the topic forever. . .just a sort of “cease fire.”)

Speaking of “cease fire,” it might be helpful to remember that your spouse isn’t your enemy – regardless of what s/he just said. You two are on the same team – go have some time alone, chill out, and regroup later.

No, this won’t fix everything, but it may help work through some of your conflicts. (Personally, I need a little more time before I’ll be ready to deal with my own!)

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