I delivered a document to a large global client late last night. Then I worried. “What if they think I’m nuts?” “What if they don’t agree with the approach I took?”

Basically, I was going to worry about it until I heard some feedback.

Finally, around mid-day today, I got the word – key people were really impressed with the thought process in the document.

I could breathe a sigh of relief.

And, it made me feel good. I did something that people liked. It made me want to do more things that people like.

Ken Blanchard of The One Minute Manager fame talked about this a bit in a lecture I attended a year or so ago. He used the example of how experts train killer whales like Shamu. He said, “Do you think they beat up a whale when it doesn’t do what he’s supposed to? No, they catch the whale performing the desired action and they reward it.”

His whole message was on catching people doing something good.

It’s an interesting managerial approach and an even more interesting approach to raising our kids. It’s easy to get caught up in the “don’t do that, don’t say that, stop that, etc.” We jump into action when something annoys us enough to want it to stop.

But when we see good, we often let it slide – or simply don’t notice. It’s making our life easy, so, no need to comment. We simply do nothing – mind our own business and enjoy the peace.

But that’s so wrong!

It’s when our kids are doing good that we need to spring into action. We need to show them how much we love it when they listen, share, resolve conflicts with their siblings, exhibit good sportsmanship, or treat friends in a loving manner.

When we reward their good behavior, they taste the fruits of their labor. And they like it.

Give it a try. Catch your kids doing something good. Reward them somehow – if only some brief words of praise. See what happens. I think you’ll be surprised.

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