ductape

at first,
it was just a couple

strands

It wasn’t uncomfortable

Then I noticed
additional

layers

Thick, sticky
spaces filled quickly

panic

I cannot breathe
I am round, wound, wishing to be
unbound, free

I push, flex
but the strands surround

I cannot be found

slowly losing

breath

me

–
14 June 2004
1st comment explains what I was thinking

Dreaming about a thing in order to do it properly is right; but dreaming about it when we should be doing it is wrong.

This quote is from a Christian preacher, Oswald Chambers, who lived into the early 1900s. The guy is intense. Real. No-nonsense.

I told my daughter last night to shower. 10 minutes later she was still clearly not in the shower. Why? She had chosen to do other things. She lost focus.

And she irritated me immensely!

But she also made me think about God. I wondered if God was irritated with me because He has told me to do things and I just get distracted with all sorts of other things, lose focus, and end up dreaming about doing those things instead of actually doing them.

Actually, I don’t really see God as getting irritated. Maybe more frustrated. Sort of like. “Look, John, I told you what to do – it’s right there. I’ve made you for this, got it all ready to go, now do it!” And then I see Him looking at me with compassion as I sit frustrated or depressed about not doing what I want to be doing because I am wondering “how will I be able to do this?” and “can this really be what I’m supposed to be doing?”

Basically, we don’t have faith. We don’t believe in the possibility of those dreams. (My daughter just didn’t care about getting showered, so clearly the similarities stop somewhere.)

So, for us to put our dreams into action, we have to first believe they are possible. Without that, we’ll never get anywhere.

Do you believe your dreams are possible?

Discipline is doing things you know you should even when you don’t feel like it. Today it was negative 19 degrees Celsius at about the time I usually go for a run. I skipped yesterday for a number of reasons. (Ok, it was only actually one – I was grumpy.)

But today was different. I slept last night. A lot. I got up early. Had time to think – clearly.

My wife has told me – more than once – “You think too much. Stop thinking and start doing!” She’s probably right (most wives are, aren’t they?).

If you’re sort of joining me on this journey to being closer to who you were made to be; if you’re trying to move towards working in areas about which you are passionate; or if you are a creative type would like nothing more than to create, then here’s the deal: you’ve got to take steps in that direction. Regularly.

And sometimes that takes discipline.

Going for a run today reminded me of that. And it felt good.

I bet you’ll feel better the next time you do that thing you know you need to do, too.

Part I (MustardCast 3a)
Length: 16:27

Play or Download MustardCast 3a
Play MustardCast #3a, interview with Brit Rice, in iTunes

Download the .mp3 file of MustardCast 3a, interview with Brit Rice (5.6mb)

• Intro / How did you get into the music business?
• 3:30 How did you crack into the studio scene?
• 5:20 What’s your favorite part? Playing, producing, songwriting? What’s the role of the producer?
• 7:55 Do you feel that the concept of album/cd is a lost art? Is there still an audience for the album?
• 10:35 What do you feel is essential for great music?
• 13:00 What do you feel structure does to the ability to deliver emotion in a song?

Brit’s recommended listening:

• The New Congress
• Chris Coza

Part II of the MustardCast (3b)
Length: Approx. 19 Minutes

Play or Download MustardCast 3b
Play MustardCast #3b, interview with Brit Rice, in iTunes

Download the .mp3 file of MustardCast 3b, interview with Brit Rice (6.6mb)

• 16:45 Talk about some of the sacrifices you’ve had to make to do the things you love.
• 21:10 What do you struggle with as someone trying to work your passion?
• 22:20 Would you share your mom’s philosophy of drumming?
• 23:10 How important is it to you to have your parents support what you are going after?
• 27:27 What do you fear the most as a musician?
• 30:08 What encouragement could you give to people who want to move towards doing something they are passionate about?

Learn More About Polydream
Listen to samples and buy Polydream music at iTunes
Polydream’s MySpace site
Polydream’s Website

Ambition seeks recognition.

Block suggests we need to lose our ambition. And do things that simply matter to us. Not do things that we think others will find interesting or approve of.

How many things are you working towards right now in an effort to gain recognition? It might be working extra hard at work in hopes of a promotion, raise, or some sort of “attaboy.” It might be trying to write a book or song that you feel could be a worldwide hit. It might be trying to gain a large audience in the blogosphere.

Block argues that all of those goals put others in control of our lives.

I cannot distill it well here in a short post (without much more thought and effort). But think about it: Are you doing things that you love to do – regardless of who might notice – or are you doing them to impress or seek recognition from someone else?

It’s a scary question to ask. But it might help you align your life with the things that are truly important to you.

After a clearing a small portion, however, this shiny new shovel was really disappointing. Sure, it’s got metal along the bottom, but it doesn’t seem to hit the pavement evenly. So, while fine for some types of snow, it wasn’t clearing my walk all that well. Looks great, but doesn’t really deliver.

I went back into my garage and grabbed an old, all metal scoop shovel that a retiring family gave to ours as they headed to Florida. This thing is old, orange, beat up, bent, rusty – some would look at it and simply put it out with the trash.

But this shovel worked perfectly. It cut right down to the pavement and performed exactly as I needed.

The shovel reassured me of something. So often I’m worried about improving myself, learning more, developing more, looking better or more impressive, or getting ready to – someday – be truly useful in this world. But my bent, rusty snow shovel shows me that sometimes the perfect tool for the job doesn’t look perfect at all.

Most of us don’t look perfect. But we wish we did. I love my bent, rusty snow shovel. It’s perfect for just the right job.

So are we. Right now. As we are.

One of my friends and I talked about this a bit recently. He is between jobs and trying to figure out the right next step. One step would involve going back to school to get an advanced degree in a discipline that he says he “could get excited about.”

But he’s got something else that burns within him already – music. My question to him was

“are you settling for good, when you should be shooting for great?”

Damn it’s hard to be a good guy (or gal) and try to make a living as a musician (artist, writer – fill in your own creative passion here).

Over my career, I made a lot of choices that led to more money, more resume clout, and more bragging rights. But none of those choices led me closer to my passions.

A lot of those moves led me to jobs where I was good – even really good – but never great.

Like Collins, I believe passion is one key ingredient that enables us to achieve greatness. Sure, we have to be skilled, work hard, etc., but without passion we’re just posers, faking our way through life. I realize that may sound a bit harsh.

I cannot tell my friend what he is passionate about. Nor can I tell him how to feed a family while working towards his passions. That’s the struggle for most of us creative types – finding that balance of moving in the right direction and taking care of our responsibilities at the same time.

I don’t really have the answers to this. Just a hypothesis. And I’m still trying to prove that myself. It’s really a lifelong experiment.

Without encouraging you to take harmful risks, allow me to suggest that shooting for great, while likely involving some risk and surely some challenges, is worth it.

Nothing.

But while I prepare to write
about enterprise planning

my mind drifts
to drum tuning.

I like that.

–
30 June 2004
1st comment below explains what I was thinking (if you are interested).

afraid

burnt and scarred

And that tissue won’t
grow again

if it’s on the surface

But if it’s within

Regeneration
awaits

The energy hidden
Screaming silently

“Let me flow freely!”

How can I?